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Collection of bad jokes 1A Butterfly had a heart attack while swimming. It was a butterfly stroke.
Balloon prices won't stop going up due to the inflation.
My favorite chinese film director is Phil Ming.
Hearts are like the numbers 1 and 2. They're less than 3.
"Yep, I've been to Haydock. My dad lives there."
Cars are like computers. Both have windows, and they often crash.
When you're delivering a baby, make sure you send it to the right address.
A Chicken laid an egg. That Chicken became a mama. That mama chicken laid an egg. Basically, mama-laid.
Traffic lights make me cross.
Just saw the most amazing wind turbine ever. It blew me away.
A Wasp took an English test. He got a B.
Tree at a funeral. Mourning wood.
Went to a restaurant and ordered a chicken and some eggs. All I got was a pregnant chicken.
Matt Damon has such an amazing talent. He was bourne to be an actor.
Meat prices keep going up. Guess the steaks are high.
Not keen on my new haircut, but it'll grow on me.
I was gonna incl
The Coffee GodThe Coffee God behind the counter shuffles foot to foot, a dance of steam and espresso. Black painted fingernails, inch gauged ears and a gray striped sweatshirt, hood crooked on his back. There's a cigarette tucked behind one ear; it bobs and twitches with each step.
“Non-fat caramel latte,” he calls, just as he always does, part of a spell, part of a mantra, toneless (just a tuck at the end). I reach. He looks up.
The espresso maker hisses.
There's something like a grin, something like a spark, something like a shared secret linked eye to eye. When he passes over the drink (rough cardboard sleeve hot to the touch), he lingers. Our fingers brush, a shiver, a jolt, a ten-watt shock.
The Coffee God tilts his chin, shouts, “Hey, mind if I take my break now?”
and ducks around the counter without waiting for a reply.
He slips his cigarette between his lips without taking his eyes from mine. I follow him out the door.
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